The Soundtrack of One Life out of 108 Billion, Entry 7: The Mormon Missionaries and Led Zeppelin's "Black Dog"

My step dad was a pretty mild-mannered man, a good guy, very much like Atticus Finch; perhaps he didn't have as much courage, but overall, he was a man of manners and integrity.  Everyone in town respected him. He was a teacher and his students loved him.

As a child, it was pretty hard to get him riled.  He was thrifty, so spending money could do it.  Mom and Dad argued about money sometimes.  But, he was pretty tolerant of us kids.  Lloyd played music all the time and at extraordinary levels.  Kim slept in until noon on the living room sofa after coming home late.  Angelo and I fought frequently.

When you did get him angry though, he usually flashed a look rather than words.  He wore dark-rimmed glasses, again not unlike Gregory Peck as Atticus Finch in To Kill a Mockingbird, and he would tilt his head down slightly and glare over them with steely eyes.  That was usually all it took to squelch any inclination of rebellion.  Mom, on the other hand, would rant and rave, and leave open lots of vulnerable spots for counter attack.  Besides, she always presented illogical reasons for her authority, such as "Because I'm your mother!" or "Because I said so!"  Always a stickler for logical fallacies, I was compelled to correct her mode of thinking and would infuriate her by saying things like, "Being older doesn't make your right" or "What type of argument is 'Because I said so'?"

Once she got sick and tired of picking up after me--which I now totally get--and threw all my clothes in yard.   I happened to notice she too left things around, so I threw her shoes out in the yard.  Needless to say, that did not go over.

But all Dad had to do was stare over his glasses and my rebellion was over--both because the look truly did make you squirm and because he was almost always fair and so you knew he was right, which is something I cared a lot about.  I had no respect for authority as a kid, but I did have respect for morality.  If anything, I was obsessed with it.  All my life I've been obsessed with the notion things should be just and right.  As Dad usually seemed just and right, I had very little conflict with him.

There was one time though that I got him rather riled.  He had invited the missionaries over for dinner.  For whatever reason, he decided we should have dinner music.

"Steve, go put on a record."

"What record?"

"I don't care.  Whatever one is on there."

"I don't think you want me to do that."

He flashed me that look over his glasses.  Very reluctantly, I complied for I knew what album was on the phonograph.    I flicked the switch, the automatic arm began its process of delivering the needle to the first groove.  By the time the riff started, I was back in my seat around the kitchen table--there to see the shock and horror spread across his face as Robert Plant started belching out...

Hey, hey, mama, said the way you move
Gonna make you sweat, gonna make you groove.
Oh, oh, child, way you shake that thingGonna make you burn, gonna make you sting.Hey, hey, baby, when you walk that wayWatch your honey drip, cant keep away.


Perhaps, even in these days when singers casually sing about lady humps (whatever that describes, I'm pretty sure it's not describing the slouched shoulders of an old woman), perhaps "Black Dog" is still shocking, because when I went to select a live video of it, I couldn't bring myself to do it.  Quite frankly, I found Robert Plant dancing around on stage with a lady's shirt on and unbuttoned, simply strange and repulsive, nothing like U2 singing with the Harlem Gospel Choir.

Although I like Led Zeppelin, I'm glad U2 came into this world--a band that stands for more than bedding girls.